Well, from my first post, you may know already that I struggled more than a little bit with anxiety and I remember my home to be a mess. I used to organize and clean time to time but it wasn’t a habit of my own, though I knew inside my gut there was a strong necessity for organization in my head.
I remember when a was little, I used to love organized houses and apartments and I really enjoyed magazines with pictures about it. However, I hardly knew that was related with OCD disorder. I have never been diagnosed with it, ’cause I overcame that on my own. I remember when I used to touch the light switch three times to make sure it was turned off or touching the door handle three times too to being able to go to bed and sleep. I specially recall a night when I was 13 years old and I didn’t do those checking things before bed to fight against it, and I wasn’t able to sleep for a while, though I told myself that nothing was going to happen if I didn’t do those things and finally I woke up the next morning realizing that I had been able to sleep without doing the OCD stuff and it stoped it, well kind of. Currently, I cannot say that I am completely cured from my anxiety ’cause I’m still taking anti-anxiety medicine, but at least while in the pills I’m healed and I’m fine.
I must say that this process of savouring life and enjoying the supposedly “bad” parts from personality took me a while though. It was a process in which I was trying to find myself in books, in workshops, in blogs, on pinterest, music, friends and family. Maybe it wasn’t about finding myself but re-encountering with my old self from childhood. Remembering the things we used to love as children, things we enjoyed that ’till today we do, but we just forget about it due to the adult’s life.
At the beginning, it was confusing and difficult but I suppose the key to success in what you want to achieve is that even when you feel tired and desperate thinking that you won’t be able to get what you desire, you have to keep doing it. It’s like when you go to work, you know you must do it ’cause you need to live from it and of course, there are some days which you definitely don’t want to go due to your mood or just life. So, when I realized that I had achieved my goal of re-encountering with myself, I felt so happy and excited and ’till today I keep reading books that nurture my soul (which are quite different from person to person, some of you my rejoice in novels while others like me, enjoy quantum mechanics books) and doing childish stuff. I do what makes me happy and doesn’t hurt others.
In the moment when I realized I was happy with what I had in life and grateful as I was, I started to embrace my OCD thing and I thought that I could use it in my favor. Then, I started redecorating my house and organizing everything. I bought tons of boxes from different shapes and colors, stuff for decoration, everything from dollar stores. My house looked now as a home and the only thing I want now is being at home enjoying the beautiful place I created. Of course, it was not only the things that embellished my home, but the absence of them. Yes, that’s the trick to feel free and creative (at least for me), declutter your home! That’s it. I sold some things that could be sold and I gifted others. My house is right now a boho minimalist home. I have a lot of things that do not precisely combine together and just a few of them. Later, I discovered that the Japanese people do that, though they go to the extreme of having almost nothing in their apartments and just one object that highlights each room. I also discovered through reading an artist’s book that there is a way of art called Wabi Sabi that comes from Japan, too, and that it embraces those called imperfections as such level that in the old tradition of the Wabi Sabi art, people used to join broken pieces of objects together with gold, to embellish them and keep them as something beautiful. So, that it’s what I do now, I enjoy the perfections and imperfections according to society and I embrace who I am and I am happier and I feel at peace. Decluttered home, decluttered mind, decluttered soul.